Why I Strongly Dislike Sox Fans

It all started when the Patriots won the Super Bowl a few years ago. I was a freshman at a college in Boston, coming from a town in CT that was half Sox fans, half Yankee fans (I was smart enough to choose the team that wins). I was on my way home on the T after a Super Bowl party, enjoying the evening, when a bunch of rowdy Pats fans climbed into the train. I knew they were Pats fans because they were a) wearing every piece of Pats merchandise known to man and b) they were screaming about the Pats winning. However, I was incredibly confused when one minute later, a different chant broke out. "Yankees suck!" one shouted...and was joined by the rest of the train. Wait, what sport were we playing? Didn't we just win the Super Bowl? Shouldn't we be yelling "Go Pats!" or something like that? I should have known then I was in for a rough time.

I hid my loyalties to the Yankees at first. I'm not proud of it, but I was scared. These Sox fans are crazy! I mean, shouting "Yankees suck!" when the Pats had just won? Certifiably insane. I would come to find out that Sox fans will shout that phrase at any event. They even have shirts that say it; how clever!

When I finally stated my true allegiances, I was nearly drowned. Seriously. Someone grabbed me at a party and tried to throw me in the tub and turn on the shower. Bastard. He was obviously jealous of my superior intelligence and decision making skills.

However, I will not stoop to their level. I refuse to return their claims of my team's suckiness with a similar response. I will not say that Ortiz likes men or that Papelbon throws like a girl. I will not even say that I hate Sox fans, because then I would be as bad as they are. Hence the title of this post.

Anyway, for some strange reason, I decided to stay in Boston once I graduated (I really do love this city). So here I am now, smack in the middle of that battleground they call "Red Sox Nation." (Um, lame. Sorry.) The Red Sox are everywhere. The fans are unavoidable. Life is hard.

But at least my team wins.

-D